Where does self judgement come from? Does it come from outside of you? Is it “in the cloud”?
What inside of you is judging yourself? Stop and read that again slowly. Try to chase it and capture it. Say it now: “I am judging me for (enter thing from past here)”. What a stupid thing to say!
What is judging yourself? Is it real? “I am judging me because, because, because.” The falseness is the great inventor inside of you. Fakeness breeds more fakeness. False seeds grow endlessly. It is the great replicator. Shall you sit in judgement for eternity?
Now ask yourself this: What inside of me is judging me? Doesn’t your “self judge” ONLY reside within you? But, does it really? Look at your fake judge, then turn away from its control over your inner world. This seems more reasonable.
There is a self inside of you that you believe into existence. It only exists in your beliefs of it. Your self judging itself is only in thoughts. Why chase the origin of thoughts? What shall be the chaser?
Can’t you think endlessly? Can’t you think about yourself in endless NEW details. Can’t you endlessly add components to this self? How maddening and torturous and heavy we can be to our falsely created selves. How cruel! Yet how fake. Realizing this non truth is the way to dissolve it. Freedom waits in truth.
It is like our body, minds, and awareness create a mirage inside. From babies society, our parents, our friends, strangers, teachers, on and on, forces components of this false self onto us. These are fragments of their falseness. False self Frankensteins we are. It is surprising we are not crushed completely by our first birthdays.
When young, we are unaware of this onslaught. How cruel a thing that has been heaped upon us! Like a pile of garbage it is poured over us, into us. Open wide! From the non existent fears and judgements of each around us, they cast it.
“You’re going to be this!” as one adult leans in with wretched breath and spews to the baby. The baby shrinks away, but is trapped in its bedding. “No, no, you’re going to do this!” The anti-garbage man brings more trash. He doesn’t take it away.
Their false self garbage becomes our false self garbage and we don’t even realize it. We CAN’T as babies. We must realize it now or continue on the path of self tortured non truths. Babies are not born saying, “My umbilical is so fucking disgusting!” “Look at my misshapen head! I can’t go into public like this!”
We begin to grow and are shaped endlessly by the false beings within others that we encounter. They don’t know it either, yet this does not argue for their innocence in these crimes.
Ask yourself, “where did this endless set of wants, preferences, fears, hatreds come from? Don’t turn away from it. View it.
You are already free! Burn your garbage!