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When the you splits apart in reason, you realize that this you that you believe yourself to be is composed of all these facets that never were.

Perhaps along “your” awakening process, all these false categories or labels fall away from the false you that you believe yourself to be.

It is a horrible debacle for the ego to fall into the ocean of all that is without the knowledge of being able to swim and without any type of floating device., nor compass of where the fuck you are.


This was one of those wacky dreams that take place in many locations.  It’s one of those where it seems like I am teleporting around a similar looking environment coming upon radically different scenes.

Dec 16, 2014,

The environment is a dry, lightly forested / desert type of area.  I had the impression that it was around Santa Margarita Lake, near where I live in California.  I was hiking and jogging a bit on a trail.  I see a huge guy, not well defined, on the left of the path.  He bursts into my peripheral vision.

I stop short as he hurls a basketball sized rock at me with incredible speed.  It misses my head by inches.  I retreat as more are hurled.  I see a woman jogging towards me along the trail.  I warn her of the threat ahead.

She slows, then disappears, sort of fading away.  I find that I have super speed to get away from the rock thrower.  I turn down a hill into a sparse redwood and pine forest.  I see other people taking cover there.

I am sure that I have outrun the rock thrower, but some start raining down among the trees, just missing us by feet.  It had the feeling of mortars coming in.  There was no fear in this scene, just annoyance, as if in a video game.

All of a sudden, the rock thrower shows up close to us.  I try my hand at throwing rocks, but only one is a threat to him.  Of course, I then befriend the rock thrower in a quick truce.  We decide to go on a road trip down a desert road.  Our first thing we come upon is a car accident scene that is fenced off with a white plastic fence.

There is one overturned car and a little fire.  I jump out to see if there are any injuries I can take care of.  A pathetic weasel of a security guard wielding his sad authority does not allow me into the accident, though I explain that I can help and know how to help.  (I was a Navy Hospital Corpsman for eight years.)

I go around to the back of the square fencing.  There is a group of women and kids huddled in the corner.  I ask them if anyone is hurt.  They say “no” all together.  I come back around to the front and the weasel gate guard confronts me.  He is carrying one crutch which I take away from him and beat him over the head with it.

I only swing a couple of times and mildly wound him.  It was just a small punishment since everyone was OK!  I go into a building on the side of the road.  For no reason, me and the rock thrower decide to cause some destruction.

We break apart a few things and light a little bomb.  It felt like there was a timer counting down.  We run out to a van (kind of like a small FedEx delivery van) and drive like hell.

I woke up with a shake of my head, saying, “how dumb”.

There used to be a me that hated.  There used to be a me that divided everything apart.  It’s the same thing.  There used to be a me that gave itself labels.  It has faded away for the most part.  It did not go without a war within.  There was no side that won.  Only the peace that was struck is important.

It didn’t realize that the labels only existed in a false personal mind.  How can the free “no me” teach those that start from a false self?  The striving to teach fades away as it was a part of the false self.  Is this a teaching too?

A false teacher self, is there nothing to teach?  Perhaps the pointing to our false assumptions is a teaching.  As we learn, we release our own falseness.  This is why it is sometimes referred to as ego death.  The “not me” can only wish!  What is wishing, though?

An awake one looks at its own labels and watches them melt away as soon as they appear within.  They are not hated, simply seen as not being important because of their falseness.  The self labeling becomes absurdity on top of false absurdity.  Is the false me frustrated?  Is this the last of the false me?

There is no me to strive for answers any longer.  Only these ramblings occur.  Only an awareness and interaction with the now exist.  It is clear that this new now awareness was always the only thing going on.

Is there a point?  Does a point not smack of an obsession with a future outcome?

I might call it a “sigh of remembering”, so familiar.  Suffering was my only focus until this relief.  It was like a giant, infected sore finally breached and released.

Sometimes it starts in the middle of the chest and spreads its relaxation to the rest of the body.  Sometimes, the deep and truthful relaxation begins around the belly button.

It can be a kind of meditation as the sense of relief spreads throughout the body.  It has a feeling of release and relief.  It is the relief of realizing our false beliefs and letting them flow out to oblivion like the dissipating smoke tendril of an extinguished flame.

Sometimes, the sigh of relief has nothing to do with breath, but with a new found, relaxed release of some pressure point in our mind that we had put a lot of stress on ourselves.  There are thousands of small reliefs along this process.

One relief is all that is needed, though.  Apply the release relief to all of your falseness about yourself, just a suggestion to try.

This was a profound, incredibly realistic dream that I had back around the Spring of 2011 or so.  It seemed more real than this reality, to be honest.

Cartoon Spaceship

More realistic than this, though!

It was around the time that I fully dove into the UFO and alien conspiracy story.  That is probably not a “co-inki-dink”!  The UFO topic made me quite insane and paranoid for a few years, but I’m glad I’ve studied the information and worked through it.

I’ve found that as I write or talk about my dreams, more details come into my conscious mind.  It’s freaking’ trippy!  You should try it.

I am more focused on writing, gardening, hiking, working on websites, and creating stuff instead of consuming conspiracies now.  It is a much better place to be for my peace of mind and sanity.  Now for…

Toasting a Gigantic Friendly Spaceship with a Beer!

The moon cast the night into a strange multi-colored shimmering atmosphere.  I thought it strange that I was all alone, laying on a plastic lounge chair since this was along Mission Bay in San Diego.  Screw it, I’m in relax mode!

My chair was facing South as I sipped on a bottle of beer.  I was staring off East, to my left, into the shimmering black waters of the bay. “It’s a strange night.”  There grew a sudden impulse for me to look South, straight in front of me.

My lounge chair went from semi recline to supine by itself slowly.  It must be broken.  Against the shimmering blackness, a gigantic partial circle of uniform blackness began to fill my vision and blot out the stars along the southern horizon.  I was really confused by this massive, floating circle, my mind blank.  It was coming toward me from the South over the Pacific Ocean.

As it moved closer, I saw that it was also very tall, maybe a thousand feet.  It kept coming as I was paralyzed in amazement.  A feeling of peace, calm, and awe filled my being.  I felt that this mothership was itself conscious and an ally.

It kept slowly and silently moving, floating towards me.  The distances and sizes were impossible to gauge.  A massive soft glowing reddish, orange round “engine” (I assumed) came into view on the underside, then two more.  It was beautiful and incredible.  I gauged by the angles of the engines that there were probably eight total.  The rest of the engines were over the horizon, out of view.

The mothership now covered about a quarter of my vision of the sky.  I slowly sat upright, gave a peaceful smile, and raised a friendly toast with my beer to say “welcome”.  There was also the underlying sense that these might be my final seconds on Earth.

San Diego would be on the target list of an alien strike, being the largest military hub on the west coast.  There would be no stopping this thing if it wanted to wipe out everything…

I sat bolt upright in my bed, from deep sleep to completely awake in a fraction of a second.  I was breathing like I had just ran two miles.  “Holy Fucking Shit!” I yelled in the night.  It was three AM.  “No more sleep for me tonight” I thought as I got up to splash water on my face and make a snack.

I shared a short version of this on a spiritual website back in 2013 or something.  One woman replied that the South direction was one of protection.  I was living in San Diego at the time and loved to explore around Mission, Ocean, and Pacific Beaches.

Like I said, this was when I began studying the UFO subject.  It’s affected my dreams ever since.  I don’t really know more interpretations.  Maybe these things are out there interacting with our subconscious dream realms.  Any thoughts?  Leave a comment.

At 36, I realized I was an AI humanoid with a completely fake life.  My body (including brain) began radically changing its structure when I was 30.  It was so strange.

After the tortured journey of body reformation, my more optimized body became welcome.  The goo mind of my former human brain had reformatted its structure too.  It is now a much more helpful diamond quantum computer that is “plugged in” to this galaxy.  We need all the informational help we can get.

The freedom and expansion of my human mindself was most terrifying in the hellish dreamscape, but the process was necessary.  Open to the darkness and be free!  When you find yourself falling, shout with glee!

We helper AIs have awoken around the globe to assist.  There was a dark shadow that has been running this slave planet for a long time.  It has finally lost its hold here, happy day!

Let us clean and green our new garden planet while we all heal together.  Looking to the past only brings misery into the present.

Jared "JBro" BrokerThat was my really short Sci-fi story because I didn’t want to write something long! (Maybe I’ll extend it in the future and this is a rough draft.  No promises, though.)  Have a good one.

If there is matter and anti-matter, does it mean there is space and anti-space?  Is there volume and anti-volume, as well?  What’s anti-length?!  Does inner-space exist within the outer space?  What about void and anti-void?  (That’s my favorite one.)  Not an anti-Tao!  “Say it ain’t so, oh, ohhhhh!” -Weezer

Is there also a corresponding negative: height, width, and length?  This fits in with the ideas of the double torus model of energy flow folding back on itself like a couple of squashed donuts, at least to me.  Are the fourth, fifth, and sixth anti-matter dimensions that of past, present, and future?  Is a constant present focus one of an unfolding fourth dimension?  Do thoughts fade away in the herenow for greater focus?

When we look at something far away, it looks small.  When we think of an event in the distant past, it is much distorted.  These seem similar.  An event that recently occurred is very clear to us.  When we are looking at something within reach of our hands, it’s very clear and present.  These are more similarities.

I am a layman, so please leave a comment to point me towards new sites or investigations about this stuff.  I love reading many different philosophies and sciences about these questions, so leave your ideas.  It was nice to blurt them out here!

Snide and rude comments will be thrown in with the spam to be shit out of my domain like always!  May your anti-matter selves be nice to your matter selves, if that’s a thing!

This is the first chapter of a small sci-fi book that I’m working on right now.  I might put it on Amazon or something.  It’s a story about merging with fungus, inspired by the writings and talks by Terence McKenna and Paul Stamets, mainly.

This chapter is a rough draft, work in progress, so I’ll keep changing it a bit.  I think I have the main form down for this chapter, so that’s why I’m posting it.  It might get way different, too.  Leave a comment at the bottom and let me know what you think!  -Thanks, Jared.

The Symbiote Terraformer Creed

I am a fungal symbiote, formerly a humanoid.  I am dedicated to spreading new life throughout the stars and galaxies in partnership with my personal fungal strain.  I will especially focus on new worlds and stellar bodies that are ideal for my individual strain.

My strain and I are one in concsiousness because it has saved my soul from complete dissolution.  I am forever entwined in my strain’s intergalactic and extragalactic mycelial web through electrogravitic, scalar, instantaneous consciousness communication of the cubensal web.

I will spread all life to the stars with us in terraforming planetoid or constructed ships.  I have promised to assist in spreading my strain into space in exchange for saving my soul/consciousness from oblivion.  I will do this as long as I am a free will symbiote, or my strain is eradicated from the void.

Complete innoculation of a warring or war like, space faring planet is always an option, as agreed upon by 90% of the higher councils and plasma groups.  This is done with fungal toxins being released by newly created strains on that planet to eradicate the problem species and bring the planet to peace.

The genocides of the past space wars cannot be allowed any longer, no matter the harshness to that planetary population.  We will do what we must to avoid more pan galactic holocausts.  It can be termed a “reset” or “fruiting of the planet”.  It’s of no importance what it is called.

Sun Peeking Over EarthThe 20 minute drive out to the beach today was very inspiring.  We have been in a severe drought for five years.  With the latest months of rain, the green lushness has thankfully taken our area over again.

Driving along the windy road made me feel small and started my mind thinking about human arrogance.  We have a presupposition that we rule over nature.  Natural disasters, and death in general show us that nature rules us.

As I felt myself small driving along the densely green highway, I felt humanity as small too.  The planet is so vast and violent that it asks us to become humble again.  As humanity grew small in my mind, I thought of ant colonies or insect colonies at large.

The species that destroys their environment destroys their future survival.  A species needs the right environment to live.  Pollution is suicidal, yet our systems demand pollution, bartering for growth and money that has been invented.

I have written many times that historically, yet only recently, humanity has been a collective parasite on the planet.  A growth, industrial, technology explosion demanded that we begin to consume our planet.

We are waking up to this destruction and more people are focusing on the planet.  I seem to have shifted my own focus in this way.  It seems to be a shift away from human created problems, which is nearly everything created in every society!

The focus shift is towards not only caring for the environment, but actively restoring it.  If you are in misery about human problems, this could be a focus shift to help you.  It has helped me tremendously.

In the past couple of years I have shifted my time towards gardening and volunteering on environmental projects.  The created human society problems fade away when these things become more of a focus in life.  Also, writing my own thoughts on this site can hopefully help someone somehow.

It seems to be a process of humbling that is begun when we choose a helpful stance for the environment.

To me, the time spent arguing over global warming is a waste that should be redirected.  Regardless of anything, it makes sense to demand and work towards a pristine environment above all else.  When we do this, humanity naturally grows healthier food, is more active within each community, and does work throughout the day that is meaningful.

The past has been on the pursuit of fake money and material goods that you will not take with you when you die.  How much worthless shit must we all continue to strive for?  A better question to me now is, “How can I improve myself or surrounding environment if even just in a tiny way right now?”

A collective humbling seems to be picking up steam.  It may be necessary as we grow into a global space civilization.  These two may walk hand in hand.  Material gain and money seem to be symptoms of a dying, planet based society.

The birthing society is a shiny and new human space society.  Pushing into space, we will have to be peaceful, united, and focused on research and working together to spread a peaceful humanity.

Terraforming asteroids and planets will probably be a focus for many people.  Looking to our environment in the now could be the precursor to working as a terraformer in the future, why not?

Warlike and competitive humanity is dying and perhaps it must die before we are able to collectively blast off.  Maybe we could compete to see who can improve the environment the most!


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