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I thought I would start posting my ramblings and random thoughts that have accumulated like ocean garbage, for the day.  This is the first one!  If you are reading it close to the date, consider yourself luckier than the stowaways that were found on the Titanic and left at Southampton!

Anyways, consider these rough drafts as shit that I will expand upon later.  Sometimes I make them into poems (that is a note for when I read this later.  I am drinking beer, so might forget small details.)  Every three equal signs means a new delusion!  They mean: “come back to center”.


Dec. 1, 2017

New Age Ramble: For every new utopia planet, a new hell world springs into being.  The incessantly, unforgiving dark ones get to check out this hell planet created especially for them, by them.  It’s so democratic!  They’ve deserved it, no one else to blame but themselves.  Stop shifting blame people!

In other words, as the new utopia planet blossoms, dark beings are squeezed from the planet.  Join or be decimated!  A new level of punishment world awaits “you”…  It has a “rougher” incarnation cycle based on what these things have done.  The dark ones created their own reincarnation hell.  I don’t like to dwell on it…


We healed what we could, the rest… fuck ‘em!!  George Carlin always said, “Fuck ‘Em!”  the best, in my opinion. (a section for Patcher story?)

Heal the critical mass to heal the planet.  Or, simply show that we all should take time out of the day to pick up trash and grow gardens in whatever way we can.


If you have any loved ones or friends that work in the operating room or a surgical setting, please try to be easy on them.  It is a horror-butcher-nightmare-freak show in surgery sometimes!  You need to remember that and honor that.

I spent a decade as a Surgical Tech.  It’s a rough thing to do day in and day out, so treat them better and give them foot massages, dammit!


Maybe I will make this a regular rambling category or section where I can leave my ideas and make a post or page later.  I might not read this for a couple weeks, but that’s alright, I’m glad I’m posting this now.. for later!

That is the big challenge, reading this shit later.  I need to focus and look at this new incoherent category on a regular time schedule.  I don’t see myself making that schedule, tho.  I guess this is the birth of my rambling category on this site.  Happy December everybody!


It was an amazing walk around Atascadero tonight.  They had the lighting, carols, Satan Clause, it was cool.  There were many shops along Entrada and Traffic Way that showed some awesome artwork ranging from pastels to multi-media and .

It was really a cool and eclectic art night.  I saw bands, singers, and canvas artists all over.  I’m glad I went.

Alright, tired of babbling.  Good night, be well.

I ask you to do something different with these words here.  Don’t consume them, eager to be onto the next thing.  Be with them.  It’s a short post!  Be fully here with them as you read them.  Is this difficult?  Do you reject your own presence at a deep level within you and automatically?

Have you been trained by society to not be here?  To not be content?  To not be now?  Does it serve your own good to be obsessing about what is not here and now?

We have been shown infinite ways to not be present.  Don’t allow it.  You deserve to be peacefully here.  The most true thing is that you have always been present in the time and space that you were in at the time!

Time and space are one.  You are able to not be present in space.  You are able to not be present in time.  When you are obsessing about another location right now, you are smearing yourself across the surface of the world.  You have smeared your energy.  You have fractured your full you.  I beg, “come back to the here at all times.”

Do you focus on the negative things you have done in the past?  Are you worried about something (or everything) in the future?  Are you doing both of these at the same time?  Are you oscillating between future you and past you, skipping over herenow you faster than light speed, not even catching a blink of you now?

To be focused outside of the now is to splatter yourself across the solar system, across the galaxy like roadkill.  The planet corkscrews after our star as we all hurtle throughout the galaxy.  To be focused on the future is to be focused out there where the Earth will be among the stars.  Why do this?

A focus on the past places you, time traveler, where the Earth has been.  That’s a weird thing for you to do!  Come back to our space station and be herenow with us.  Peace and your full energy resides here.  Space is cold, the planet warms and nourishes you where you stand.  You don’t deserve to be a smear!

Pastel Ocean Sunset

“I” don’t see why not.  It seems that the answer is yes.  The masters have claimed to be free from themselves.  We only believe we are selves with little self imposed categories and behaviors that define us constantly.  Being free from the idea of a self may be the only true way to live!

These self definitions always seem to be existing in the past and/or the future.  Keeping focus upon now, the self takes a back seat to our here now environment.  When we allow our selves to fade away into past or future, we find ourselves back in a calm and unfolding present.  It takes practice and focus, a kind of extended de-brainwashing.

The present is vibrant.  Everything is so interesting everywhere you look, so I choose to appreciate all that I perceive in the herenow.  This state allows me to have more energy to be helpful to my surroundings.  I slip back into worry sometimes, but realize it is neither here nor now.  It is like moving through a new, unfolding world.  The harshness leaves this perceived reality.

Forest Vine

This is the first video in my case study about making a free website or blog.  About all I have decided so far is that it will be about terraforming the Earth and bodies in space.

Beginning Plans for My Terraformer Site

The great thing about this case study is you will see how much something evolves down different paths.  I have some sci-fi stories written about this topic and want to share them.  It’s always seemed like a logical next step for us to heal the planet and spread life out into our solar system.

Hopefully, I can get some discussion going on about terraforming and improving the Earth’s environment.  We need a course change in society where we place the planet above material goods and false wealth.

A big aim of this project will be an introduction to blogging, SEO, and webmaster topics.  I will keep up with screen capture videos and will be using WordPress.com for the free site.

I use Google Drive to organize my projects since they are easy to use, automatically save, and the files can easily be shared with other people.

My next video will be choosing a name for the project and a little bit about branding.

Up the Green Path

I challenge you to look at yourself from the point of view of the planet.  Imagine the Earth is a giant, living, writhing, conscious being.  Expand your mind’s vision.  Gaze at yourself from the planetary point of view.  Do your worries start to melt away?  Do they seem a bit ridiculous?

We often allow ourselves to see ourselves as giant.  Our egos grow us to the size of stars.  Our worries and regrets fill the galaxy!  As you view yourself from the planet, isn’t there a relief of release?  Can you try to feel it?

This is not an experience of feeling tiny and insignificant.  It is one of release.  It is one of seeing our worries as tiny.  Our worries that are created by this giant, false self. ego

When gazing out from our inflated, fake egos, our worries fill our world.  But, the world is never aware of our worries.  Look at you from our watery rock hurtling through space.  Can it see or hear our worries and regrets?  Don’t these only reside in our ego mind?  No one else holds them.

Negative, judging thoughts ONLY exist in our minds.  That is the only place they seem real.  They only SEEM real.  You are not being a bad person by releasing all of it.  Let them dissolve and melt.

You free your worry energy to be a more helpful person, it seems.  If the Earth ever wished anything for us, it would wish us this.  The being freed from self is helpful to humans, all life, and the planet.

Through this awakening process, It seems that the false self that was firmly believed to be “me” (by “me”) had  shattered.  Perhaps the fake me inside was never unified.

It’s been a process of these pieces dissolving after doing much internal damage.  My dreams reflected this with many iterations of my “self” that I did not recognize at the time.

After reading some Carl Jung, I see that these were various identities of my psyche as well as collective archetypes presenting themselves, often in violent confrontations.

The broken edges sort of framed each different identity.  They were incredibly sharp pieces and destructive at first.  Much damage and torment arose out of the broken self pieces cutting their ways through the mind, through the false self.

This was a rough process of many years.  I was always impatient through it, wishing it to be over NOW.  This impatience was the source of suicidal thoughts as well.  I was always too interested in the future to kill myself, though.  Though, looking back, this awakening WAS a type of slow motion suicide.  It was a killing of all the aspects of me that I was not.

It’s difficult to give a time frame since it was a process of looking at my thoughts and dreams mostly stemming from my Surgical Tech and Iraq war experiences.  If I had to say, though it was from right after I got out of the military (2009) until recently feeling free (2017).  It’s probably not a coincidence that I spent eight years in the Navy and eight years clearing out the experiences and waking up.

This newly shattered self became many sharp selves.  Luckily they began grinding each other down as they all were false.  The sharp edges were like broken pieces of glass being ground down and dissolving in the ocean.

Its edges met each other to share their depression, isolation, torturous nightmares, obsessed thoughts, confusion, hatred, and every other negativity which we apply to ourselves.  These were fights the self pieces fought among themselves, it seemed.  The marijuana helped.  The alcohol certainly did not.

All of this unrealness was deep within my consciousness to be healed and released (which might be the same thing).  I ask you to consider the harsh attitudes you have towards yourself and others.

These are your deepest opinions you have about the world and about yourself, buried deep.  Don’t your opinions shift over time with new knowledge?  Your inner realm reflects your outer realm, in my opinion.

I was incredibly hard on myself, always obsessing about “doing the right thing”.  Yes, this served me well as I coldly assisted with surgeries, but at a great cost of a growing and increasingly buried shadow.  Through my 20’s I did not even know this was a problem or even existed.

This deeply embedded shadow being only earned me intense private misery.  I would drink my ass off to ignore this, but it only dug the trenches and caves deeper for more falseness of me to reside.  Shadows love caves.

Since a small kid, I always worried about what people thought of me.  Looking back now, I see the respect of others as completely worthless.  It came with a nice (false me) reputation by those around me, but looking back, that wasn’t worth shit since it increased my own suffering and brought me to the brink of madness.

This shattering and rending process was what unveiled to me that I was obsessed with the thoughts of others around me.  The absurdity of this obsession cannot be paralleled.

As I saw these sharp, false self pieces become dull and dissolve against each other, the idea of “me” with all of these self belief pieces was obviously entirely going away.  If everything that I believed to be me was dissolving into pure awareness, then the entirety of “me” was too.

So what comes to replace the false self?  What is left is a lightness, an openness, and easier creativity.  It was a hellish process.  I would have been totally lost and probably gone completely mad if I had not found the Taoist and Buddhist writings.

One of the quotes from these Eastern writings that stuck with me is a suggestion to “die before we die”.  I offer this possibility to the false you that is suffering as well.  On the other side of this is peace, a stilled mind, easiness throughout the day, calm action, and not giving a shit what others think!

I highly suggest the awakening process, in other words.  You are never alone in it.

Beach Covered Elephant Seals


What do you get out of being proven right? What do you get from being proven wrong? Each one inflates your false self and expands your suffering.

When you are right, it is only about a single thing for a brief moment. It feeds your smugness as you feel elevated above those that are wrong. You separate yourself from the “wrong” people.  You’re feeding an addiction. “I’m right! I knew I was right!  My knowledge is superior!” are the deranged mantras.

What is the next immediate thing you do?  You look for something else for you to be right and proper!  Around the next corner, there is something that you will be wrong about, though.  There are two paths for you to take here.

The first is very unlikely: you admit to yourself you are wrong and feel negative feelings towards this aspect of false self you believe you are.  The other option is much more likely in people: you stick to your belief that you  are right and drift off into fantasy land.  You keep your false beliefs because the false you cannot tolerate being wrong.

The very nature of your inner false self is that it is in denial!  This false ego engorges itself with everything not true.

Each and every issue is a complex matrix of facts, expert biases, opinions, skewed data, propaganda, marketing, and on and on.  Everything is complex enough that you will be a little right and a little wrong about EVERYTHING.

In stepping back from right and wrong, you can calmly look at issues in their complexity.  You are no longer tying your personal highs and lows to being correct or being wrong.  It is not easy, but more sense can be made of the gray area world.

Kern River Sunset

These messages are short because words are cheap.  The fingers move on the keyboard and this shit spews forth. There is too much seriousness placed on the noises we make!

I’ll take the comedian over the lecturer when stranded on a deserted island. At least a few smiles and laughs would be had.

Why naught play with whirreds?

Why not laugh and entertain rather than burden others with our fabricated opinions?  Your opinions constantly change over time, so let them hold less sway over your mind.

It hardly matters what we say. Show me what you do!  At the least be a teacher over a propagandist.  What you take deeply seriously within you is your own propaganda.

Freedom lies in action, not in our invented confusions. Thoughts are composed of self torturing words. The base unit of your hatreds are letters.  The masters point towards stillness and silence within as the ultimate.  The silence is playful and easy, allowing us to act easier.

The words of politicians, how serious and solemn!  Their actions are genocide, war, slavery, and theft for more power and money.  Their somberness is a plague on humanity.

The playful ones are gardeners, healers, and artists, connecting souls together, not rending them apart in physical divisions and violence.

Our internal self divisions are all categories and labels of words. The controllers know this. They are word controllers and nothing else. Look how serious you are with your identifications!  Laugh at your beliefs and obsessions a bit!  It won’t hurt you.  It might help.

Your self labels are not yours. You only believe they are.  You were taught them, aka brainwashed, by those around you and the mass media.  At best, any heated debate is masturbation by those involved.  Look how serious they are in defending their opinions, these masterdebaters!  I see only slaves whipping their chains at one another.

An internal debate of one person against itself is a paralyzing process.  Sit and think deeply and suffer!  Will you argue with yourself for days, or weeks this time?  Will you fall deeper into your own abyss of seriousness?  Consider that you can be still and lightweight inside.

Debate, a great waste of time that could be spent picking up trash, volunteering, or gardening our homeworld.  At least argue and debate while you do something worthwhile for the world.

A quiet mind is limited in words and thoughts.  They come and go easily.  Strong beliefs seem far away for me now.  An easiness rolls in to replace the serious, word based, heaviness.

Pure freedom from words can be attained.  It’s a release.  I allow them to melt away, though never again letting their spear of seriousness pierce my skull.  Openness and vitality rush in to repair the serious phrase hole damage in my mind.

I apologize for any seriousness in this post!

Clouds Sunset Ocean

Do you constantly worry about the future? The future will NEVER turn out the way you believe.  Everything will become dust eventually, so why worry?!

It is only your beliefs that create your false future. That is how powerful you are. Isn’t your imagination better spent on the present?

You worry about people.  You worry about how events were perceived by others in the past.  Your worry paralyzes you NOW… about a false future, about an annihilated past. Do you not see the stupidity of this? the worthlessness?

Your worry about someone or something now affects that someone or something not at all.  It only affects you negatively.

A brainwash – created self projects worry inside of you. Your mind is the only place that your worry affects. This is the only place it exists.  It has only negative effects within and without.

When you spread your worry, it is a contamination, a plague. What are we to do? Our internal worry destroys us. Spreading worry is a contagious disease.

I ask you to internally look at your worries.  When are they, future or past?  Shine your inner focus on it and let them all fade away.

As more of us burn away our worthless worries, an ease in the present gently consumes us. We become much more effective in the present.  Worry only hindered and divided.

This is how we heal the future. This is how we move forward: easily focused and without our inner false worries.

Our worries are taught to us.  Unlearn them, let them die, and free your energy into herenow.

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